Dartwood Portable Neck Fan Review 2023

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Are these hype products really worth it? Here's my unpopular verdict.

People will buy anything these days, but heatwaves make us especially desperate. That's my take on why these Amazon neck fans have gone semi-viral on TikTok and why every other story you read will shill them to you. I thought these things were fake products only used by the people that live in my phone. Then, I started seeing them on the street in New York City, and my world collapsed when my own mother—a longtime folding fan user—asked if she should buy one.

A mass heat-induced insanity was the only way this made sense in my mind. Or were these little fans from TikTok actually good? I had to try for myself.

Spoiler: I didn't love it. I understand the appeal, though. I'm from the Deep South, where summer temperatures don't come below 90 degrees and humidity stays around 50 percent. So I'm a harder sell than most. And most recently, I was trekking around Seoul, South Korea, while the weather was also in the 90s with 75 percent humidity. It's good to have a constant breeze without using your hands. So, if that's what you want—especially if you're an outdoor server or work a job where you need your hands—a neck fan, specifically this Dartwood neck fan I used, will do the trick.

But honestly, I don't get why the internet loves these things. I think there are better options out there to stay cool. There are better portable fans and other better looking, more creative solutions. As my commitment to staying cool—and trying to not look like a dork—here's a guide of what works better than the neck fan I found on TikTok.

First of all, I want a portable fan to be more versatile than a neck fan. Scientifically, the neck fan is moving air to key areas—my neck and lower skull, home to the carotid arteries and jugular veins—so they do "work." They make you cooler, no doubt. But what it made me realize is that I want a breeze on my face, not just my neck and the back of my head. Overheating is the existential problem, a slick face is the aesthetic problem. So instead of a neck fan, I would have preferred one of those handheld plastic fans. They're not heavy or cumbersome to hold, and that way I can not only fan my head and neck, but (in private) my back and my armpits as well.

Then the handheld plastic fan made me think about an even more elegant solution to this problem: A classic folding fan. Not a shitty one you buy off the street, but a real wood and cloth option. It folds down and slips into a bag easily. Plus, it just looks a lot more beautiful than a piece of plastic. The world would be better off if everyone carried one of these.

Now I'm done with fans, which only offer temporary solutions anyway. For something that really works, that drops your body temperature in a matter of minutes, nothing is going to beat a cold towel. Specifically, these microfiber towels, which you can buy on Amazon just as easily as you can buy a neck fan. Every summer, you can find construction workers—or marathon runners and athletes on TV—using these things. They're my canaries in the coal mine for summer. When I see outdoor municipal workers wearing them, I know a heat wave is on the way. Sit in the shade, soak your towel, wring it, and then wrap it around your neck, forehead, or forearm. It'll get you cooler than a fan, and it'll do it faster.

Again though, these are a bit ugly, and I promised suggestions that weren't. I'm aware. My personal favorite rebuttal to the heat is a bandana or an old-school handkerchief. It's just like one of those microfiber snap towels, except it actually looks good. I'd go for full cotton, as it's incredibly absorbent, and it stays wet. Soak it with water—it can literally be from a public fountain, don't be a snob—and use it like one of those microfiber towels. And if you want long-lasting relief, wrap an ice cube in it.

As far as looks, you can go Western with indigo RRL bandanas or something more outdoorsy from Patagonia. Or honestly, use a Hermès scarf. Silk isn't as absorbent as cotton, but if you're soaking it in water, it'll do the same job. I'm not a financial advisor, but I do know that life is too short. Live as lavishly as you can. Wrap an ice cube in a silk scarf and tie it around your neck. It's better than the things TikTok is trying to sell you.

Luke Guillory is the Associate Commerce Editor at Esquire.

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